Revival of Families by Eld (Dr) Chuah Seong Peng

Sunday Service July 27 2008 - "Revival of Families" by Eld (Dr) Chuah Seong Peng

Scripture
Various

Introduction

The lighter side of marriage
There are many jokes we make of our marriages.

A lady inserted an ad in the classified: "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing. "You can have mine'"

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married.
Then she is finished.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

First guy says, "My wife's an angel!" Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

The darker side of marriage
We may make jokes on our marriages but on a serious note, the institution of marriage is under attack today! Look at:

The high divorce rate.
The reluctance of young couples to marry and the consent to co-habitat without commitment to marriage.

The teenage problems.

“Divorce was once all but unthinkable in Asia, but now it's become almost standard. And these days it's women who are doing most of the dumping.” By Liam Fitzpatrick Hong Kong

In Tokyo, you can attend a divorce school to learn the 50 ways to leave your lover.
It isn't only sobbing twentysomethings breaking up; senior couples are doing it, too.
In Singapore, the number of divorces is up a third since 1990, while it has nearly doubled in Thailand.

In the past 20 years, the divorce rate has doubled in mainland China and tripled in Taiwan. And the divorce rate in South Korea now exceeds that of many European countries, including the U.K., Denmark and Hungary. Even in India—where a wife was once considered so immutably tied to her husband that she was thrown on his funeral pyre if he died before she did—sociologists estimate that the divorce rate is 11 per 1,000, up from 7.41 per 1,000 in 1991
The figure quoted for Malaysia is 20% by Zeenah Kausar in 2005.

Among Christians in North America, Barna Group study showed that among Catholic, 25% has had a divorce, compared with 39% of Protestant with Pentecostal the most likely and Presbyterian the least likely.
(Impact Magazine vol 31, no.4. Aug/Sept 2007)

The Call to work on marriage
NECF 40-Days fast and pray for the nation 2008
Theme: Transforming the nation through the local church.
In this 40-Days prayer and fasting, we are to ask God for revival of the personal life, family, church, community, the market place, our nation/government, and the world.

For HLCE: The implication of approval of religious plot of HisLand
God’s agenda with us and for us calls for urgent attention to build strong Christian marriages!

HLCE value statement: A commitment to building strong Christian families
We believe that a strong Christian family is the foundation of a healthy church.
Therefore, we are committed to provide an atmosphere and seek ways to strengthen and nurture strong Christian families.

Revival of family

God’s story began in the family.
Satan attacked the first family.
Consequences of the fall
God’s salvation plan in marriage
God’s plan for mankind began with the family
God uses families to reveal his plan and will for his people. The Patriarchal families and the families of King David and some of the prophets such as Eli, Samuel and so on are just some examples we can study about God’s teaching on family. For this sermon, I will concentrate on the first family to learn some practical implications to build the healthy families God desires for us. We will focus our attention on the husband and wife for the health of the marriage is primarily dependent on the husband–wife relationship.

God’s first family - Adam and Eve
Adam and Eve were to be fruitful and multiply and rule over the kingdom.
Genesis 1:27-28
“So God created man in his own image…God blessed them and said to them,
“Be fruitful and increase in number, fill the earth and subdue it.”

Adam was given the authority to rule over all the living creatures
Genesis 2:19-20
God formed all the beasts of the field and birds of the air and asked Adam to name them.
Adam’s naming all the animals as an expression of his authority and rule over them.

Eve was to be a helper for Adam to fulfil God’s purpose for them.
Genesis 2: 18
“It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

God choose marriage to fulfil his plan
Genesis 2:24 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they will become one flesh.”

Summary: Adam and Eve are to live an eternal life of communion and trusting dependent on God fulfilling His purpose for them.
Satan attack the family

Genesis 3: The story of the fall of man
Satan came in the form of serpent to tempt Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve fell. They took the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of the good and evil they were not supposed to eat. What are the trees of life and the tree of the knowledge of the good and evil? What do they represent? Why are they so significant for our salvation story and building Christian family?

The Two Trees

The tree of life versus the tree of the knowledge of the good and evil
Genesis 2:16
“You are free to eat from any tree in the garden, but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of the good and evil.”

In the garden, Adam and Eve were allowed to eat the tree of life but they were forbidden to eat the tree of the knowledge of the good and evil. The tree of the knowledge of good and evil is the tree that will give them knowledge of moral and ethical discernment of their own independent of God. It will take them away from the trusting relationship they have with God. God forbid them to eat because he wants them to have a perfect trusting relationship with him. When Adam and Eve took the fruit from this tree, they gained ‘knowledge’ to become self-reliance and pride came into their lives. Their communions with God were broken and spiritual death came into their lives. They also suffered physical death as they were stopped from eating the tree of life as God said.

When Adam and Eve took the fruit of the knowledge of the good of evil, they have taken the path of self-reliance and broke their relationships with God; they have chosen a life of broken relationship with God and one another.

The results of the fall:

Broken relationship with God.
Broken relationship from one another.
Broken relationship with God:

From a relationship of perfect communion, harmony and total trust to a relationship of guilt and fear and insecurity.

Gen 3:10
“I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

When they disobeyed God and took the forbidden fruit, sin came into their lives and their self- consciousnesses were changed. Adam and Eve felt guilty and ashamed as a result of their disobedience. They were afraid of God because they felt unworthy before Him. Adam’s acknowledgement of his nakedness before God was an expression of his sense of humiliation from his act of disobedience. He felt naked because there was something to hide. He was afraid because he knew he will be found out. Adam and Eve now lived with insecurity.

Broken relationship from one another:
From a relationship of mutual help and interdependence to a relationship of mistrust and suspicion.

Genesis 3:12-13
“The woman you put here…the serpent deceived me…”

Adam and Eve began to blame others for their mistakes. Adam blamed God and Eve. Eve blamed the serpent. Their self-righteousness and insecurity made them proud. There was a loss of trust and they stopped to communicate.

There are implications of these on our marriage today.

The effect on our marriage today

Adam and Eve sense of failure and unworthiness and loss of trust between them led to a loss of openness and breakdown in communication
This failure of Adam and Eve left a great imprint even in our lives today. The fear of failure and the worry of being ‘naked’ have made both men and women unwilling to open up themselves even to their spouses. Women may be better at communicating their feeling but they are just as inhibited and afraid as men about being opened to one another. This has resulted in the women being secretive and difficult to fathom and men’s seeming reluctance to work at communicating with their wives. No wander Freud who is one of the most well known psychoanalysts has to say, “Despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, I have not yet been able to answer…the great question…What does a woman want?”

For the men, the failure in the Garden of Eden has left a great bruise of their ego. Men have become insecure after the first failure. There is no greater fear for men to show their failures and weakness before their wives again. They would rather occupy themselves with work, hobbies, and business trips than to spend time and effort on the so-called institution of marriage. They would not want to let their wives into their weaknesses and fears.

Furthermore, according to Patrick Morley, “Most men are not unhappy with their marriage, they only don’t really enjoy their wives – they are simply less than happily married” (The Man in the Mirror, 1997,129).

Therefore they don’t see it as a crisis to work for. After a while they simply accept it as a reality in life. But this is a deception of the enemy who wants us to believe that marriage is not meant to be beautiful and perfect – that one has to learn to accept reality and not to make too much a fuss about working on it. That’s why sometime we hear statement like “why are women so troublesome and demanding!” But the truth is men are either afraid to work at it or they simply don’t know how. For the men, marriage is hard work, the ability to love and building relationship through communication troubled men deeply.

So how should we go about working on our marriage? There are many marriage seminars that we can attend to learn about some understanding and technique to improve our abilities to build relationship with one another. I think these are good and useful to attend. But I want to ask you to consider looking at working on the root problems of pride, insecurity, shame, guilt and fear and look to God for His strategy for dealing with these as well.

God’s strategy for a healthy marriage
God’s salvation plan in marriage: The Story of Grace
God’s strategy for a healthy marriage is found in his story of grace that began in his salvation plan in the Garden of Eden. Satan attacked God’s plan for human beings through his first family. God also used family to win his battle over Satan. He gave the hint when he told Eve that through her ‘seed’, mankind will defeat Satan. Her offspring will crush the serpent’s head. Jesus was the seed through the descendants of Eve who is to fulfill this plan. We see this plan of God unfolding before us from the story of God’s grace to mankind beginning in the Old Testament.

God’s grace to Adam and Eve
Even after the disobedience of Adam and Eve, God extended his grace in his punishments to them. Compare to the serpent, Eve was given the chance of child birth to continue the propagation of the human race and her offspring will crush the head of the serpent. Adam was given the chance to eat the fruit of his labor as he toiled the soil compared to the serpent which only get to eat dust. He even made skin covering sacrificing animals to cover their shame. This covering is only a partial cover for a better covering that is complete is yet to come.
Even after the fall, God preserve the seed of Adam and Eve through his gracious blessing on them to have other children after Cain and Abel. Seth was born to continue their descendants to Noah who in turn gave birth to Ham, Shem and Japheth. It was Ham that finally led to Abaham.

God’s grace to mankind through Abraham
God began the work of his salvation to mankind beginning with his covenant of grace to Abraham and his family. It was pure grace for Abraham and his family who was pagan worshippers at the time of the calling of God to them!

God’s ultimate and complete grace through his Son Jesus
The salvation plan brings fruition through the coming of his Son Jesus Christ. We see this story of grace revealed to us through Paul’s letter to the Romans. Just a sample from Romans to shed some light for us.

Righteousness through faith in Christ Jesus to ALL not through observance of the law
Romans 3:20-23
“Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin.
But now righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, which the Law and the Prophets testify.
This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”

Romans 8:1-2 “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus, the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.”

Through Jesus perfect sacrifice, man and woman’s guilt was washed and shame covered completely. Man and woman no longer live by law but grace.
In the new life the Spirit set us free from the law of sin and death.

Jesus not only died for our sins but he was resurrected to give us the new life. But he went further, he sent the Holy Spirit who empowers us to live the victorious life! All these are made possible by his grace. Through Christ, men and women find their righteousness through faith and can now come boldly before God, no more hiding or feeling afraid and ashamed no matter how many failures they have in this life. Satan can no longer accuse them before God of their short falls. The blood of Christ covers their sins completely forever. The love of Christ on the cross gives them the confidence to stand before God and one another. They can now face each other and be opened and willing to be vulnerable and communicate freely with each other.

Restoration of family under Christ’s headship
Christ-centred Spirit filled marriage

Ephesians 5 :18, 21
“Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead be filled with the Spirit…submit to one another out of reverence for Christ”

Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the church.
Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
The greatest need of the wives is to be loved unconditionally. The greatest need of men in marriage is to be respected. Ephesians 5:33 asks the wives to show love to their husband by respecting them. To respect her husband is to submit to him as to the Lord. To respect is not the same as obey. You can be forced to obey someone but not respect. Respect is earned! This is a real struggle in many marriages. This struggle is over only if both the husband and wife find their identities, source of comfort, strength and wisdom in the Lord. They can only do so when they are led by the Holy Spirit in a Christ-centred and Spirit filled marriage..

Work and pray for:

Husband and wife to mutually respect and love each other.
Commit to lifelong loving marriage building up one another to be holy and blameless through his Word.
Honor marriage and guard the sacredness of the marriage bed and not deprive each other of sexual pleasure and intimacy.
A word to the Father
Let us take up our roles as the head of the family. The authorities given to the fathers come with the responsibilities to take care of our families. Let us not run away from the responsibilities and honors God has entrusted to us fathers.

Some good news for the fathers
Statistical studies showed man are better equipped with natural instinct and talents to nurture our children than we thought!

According to Ross Parke, professor of psychology at University of California, “Fathers are better prepared biologically for parenting than we previously thought” (Reader Digest, July 2008, p56).

Katherine Wynne-Edwards, a biology professor from Queen’s University in Canada found that hormonal level changes in fathers in the weeks that surround their babies’ birth that prepare them to take on parenting roles like the mothers. She found that their level of the male hormone testosterone dropped and the female hormones like oestrogen and prolactin rose.

Dr. James Swain, assistant professor at Yale Child Study Center looked at the brains of 25 couples 2-4 weeks and 3-4 months after their babies were born to see how they respond to their infants’ cries using functional MRI. The results revealed that brain activities in both mothers and fathers were strikingly similar to what you would find in people suffering from obsessive-compulsive neurosis. That explains parents’ anxiety to check on their crying infants. The interesting thing is the level of such activities in the brain that he found out. At 2-4 weeks, mothers have more of such activities than the fathers; but by 3-4 months the fathers were catching up!

Other studies have revealed fathers’ roles in helping their children language development, promoting children independence, better achievements in school both academically and in extracurricular activities, getting more popular with their peers.

In a report, teenagers with involved fathers are 80 % less likely to have been in jail and 75% less likely to be unwed parents!
Taking the step of faith to work on our marriage

Peter walking on water Matthew 14:22-30

Peter focused his eyes on Jesus
Peter was alright when he kept his eyes on Jesus. He sank when he let his focus shifted to the wind.

Peter was the only one – ‘The Odd One Out’
Peter was the only one in the group that responded to the call.

God wait for us to trust him to help us in our challenges, are you willing to step out in faith?
Facing the storm of our lives in family, will you take that step of faith and trust God and keep your eyes focus on Jesus and not on the problems?
It takes faith to trust in God to walk on the water
Not everyone will do so, be like Peter and be the ‘ODD ONE OUT’ to withstand and let Him overcome the storm of our lives.

Focus our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, whom for the joy set before him, endured the cross scorning its shame.