2011 in Reflection

2011 was a very TOUGH year for me. Few realise it but God knows.

At the end of 2010 or beginning of 2011, I had informed my then CPU leader, FF in an email that I would probably be away a few Friday nights for work. I had already anticipated the busyness of training a new staff, doing back-to-back audit engagements, going for regional meetings/conferences and also being involved in regional audits overseas.

JAN
Attended a few prayer meetings at LSBC which were in preparation for the new thing.
Went KL for Regional IA Conference & Teammate training. 3 days.
2 audits completed.

FEB
2 days in Bangkok for Regional ICP Conference.
Another 2 audits completed.


MAR
5 day mission trip to Timor-Leste
Completed 2 audits, 1 special FTS certification.
Joined in Regional audit of RHC Actuarial (in Spore)
Last 2 weeks of March were busy, busy in office and also busy preparing for start of peak period for integrated ICP & IA from April - Sept 2011. But in 2011, peak started in March 2011 for me!

APR
Peak period continued from end-March. Whole month at SGX. Another 2 audits completed + Part of ICP Premium Cycle testing.
Participated in Run350 (10km) with Timothy Chan.

MAY
3 audits completed. Completion of 2 Premium Cycles testing.
Participated in PAssion Run (12km) and Sundown (21km).

JUNE
Completed 2 audits despite 1 week leave.
Attended Church camp in KL

JUL
Completed 2 audits + 3 Reinsurance Cycles ICP testing.

AUG
Completed 2 audits.
Participated in Vietnam Reinsurance audit in Hanoi.
Attended mGRC Task force meeting in Bangkok (2 days)

SEP
Urgent leave. Poh Poh suddenly passed away 1 month before her 102nd b'day.
Missed company D&D although costume rented. Missed SAFRA Bay Run (10km)
Completed 1 audit, Finance Cycle & Residual IT controls testing.
Peak period officially over and managed to confirm completin of 11 Cycle testing by 30 Sep 2011 by only God's grace.

OCT
Flew back home together with 1 week leave.
Completed systems and Information Security audit

NOV
Finished 2 audits and supervised/reviewed 1 audit.
Participated in Regional Branch audit of Hong Kong's Macau Branch.
1st time to Macau and bungee from Macau Tower. highest bungee at 322m. Also visited The Venetian and tasted some nice portugese food
Ran the north-East Run (14km) less than 8 hours after return from Hong Kong close to midnight. Tiredness and fatigue saw me finishing in bottom 10% >.<
Prepared annual risk assessment and 2012 annual plan.

DEC
Took part in SCMS (21km). Route was horrible with massive jams on Sentosa Island and I lost my race bib at the crowded water point after exiting Sentosa Island.
Family holidays in Taiwan.
Completed another audit and finished retesting for multiple cycles deficiencies.
Completed 1 Year YouVersion Chronological Reading Plan and the Life Application Study Bible daily devotion on YouVersion. HS did tell me my feeling of relief in completion means I have not enjoyed and invested more time in completing the reading and more often than not, I had usually read it to completed the reading schedule than read to absorb His truth for my soul. ("Ouch! The truth hurts!")

Honestly, I am relieved the year 2012 is over.
There were days when I stare at the mirror in my office toilet and see nothing, blank. There were times I rushed and felt my blood pressure exploding as I rushed for exit meeting or some meeting or deadline.There was a night or two I was in the office at night and felt like crying.

2011 was for me the busiest and most stressful year in my working life. No question about it. My 2011 Audit Plan is the busiest in the Asia region considering there were only 2 auditors in Singapore and I had 21 audits and 11 ICP Cycles - literally auditing 2 companies in 1 year and I completed 99% of my plan with one postponed because CEO was hospitalised and could not be audited/interviewed.

Many nights I thank God for his strength, wisdom, answered prayer, guidance, favour, provision for without which, I can never come through with audit planning, fieldwork, reviewing work papers, drafting reports, discussions, meetings, emails after emails, reports after reports.

There is hope expressed by some of my bosses (including directors) than I won't have to work so hard or so late in 2012. They given me another staff and she's coming in Jan 2012 although with only 2 years experience in PwC and need to train her in IA and Insurance Operations. Next year's Plan is also 'lighter' with only 15 audits planned and less integrated audits (internal audits + ICP testing in 5 days of fieldwork) + headcount of 3.

Spiritual wise, I will start the year with no cell group. Not being convinced that the Journey Planner will work and besides, every year you set spiritual goals and 5 years down the road, it becomes irrelevant or impossible or a yoke around the neck. If DJ Cell is another name for a CG cell or CPU, then why have the whole SDC thing? If this is to make LSBC another name (we are known by some as the CP Church), then becoming famous leading to future manuals or books and seminars on Simple Discipleship Church is I think more flesh than spirit. We already have CP Handbook and did many rounds of CP Conferences. So, I guess, in future, we'll see LSBC being the leader for SDC. Should we be concerned? I've written my concerns via emails to church pastor, sounded out to some leaders and members and also emailed my Senior Pastor (SP). SP promised a response after the DJ team has considered my feedback but there is none thus far. Nevertheless, if I feel marginalised for not being part of a DJ cell, I will leave LSBC in 2012. Senior Pastor keep saying that won't be the case, but we'll see how as actions speak louder than words. I wonder if I should attend tomorrow's 1 Jan 2012 SDC launch which will focus on SDC - so if you're not in SDC Cell, then how? In all things, my Jehovah shall be my Source and Shield.

So, 2012 will be an interesting year work-wise and spiritual and church-wise.

THE CULTIVATION OF OUR SECRET LIFE WITH GOD

"THE FACTS OF THE MATTER"

"A weekly letter of encouragement to business and professional men and women"

Good Morning!

 

Discipline is essential in cultivating our walk with God.  Without it we simply will not learn to hear the voice of God. Because our lives are often plagued with worry, over-extension, and the intrusion of noise, is it almost impossible to hear God when He is speaking to us.  Henry Nouwen states, “We have often become deaf, unable to know when God calls us and unable to understand  in which direction He calls us.  Thus our lives have become absurd.  In the word absurd we find the Latin word surdus, which means “deaf”…When, however, we learn to listen, our lives become obedient lives.  The word obedient comes from the Latin word audire, which means “listening.”  A spiritual  discipline is necessary in order to move slowly from an absurd to an obedient life, from a life filled with noisy worries to a life in which there is some free inner space where we can listen to our God and follow His guidance.”  1

We learn from Jesus’ life that He listened to the Father for instruction and guidance (Jn. 5:19, 30). Thus listening is at the heart of true prayer.  Prayer is being in God’s presence with an attentive heart to hear His voice, anticipating the Spirit’s prompting, and the Spirit’s enlightenment of God’s word.  For God to break through to us, we need to purposely create both inner and outer space in our lives, in order to disallow the world from filling our lives to the point where there is no space for us to be able to listen.  It is therefore essential that we set apart time on our calendar as to when we plan to enter our secret place with God.  “…When you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen…” (Matt. 6:6)

“This chaos [of our inner life] can be so disturbing and so confusing that we can hardly wait to get busy again.  Entering a private room and shutting the door, therefore, does not mean that we immediately shut out all our inner doubts, fears, bad memories, unresolved conflicts, angry feelings, and impulsive  desires…We often use our outer distractions to shield ourselves from the interior noises.  It is thus not surprising that we have a difficult time being alone.   The confrontations with our inner conflicts can be too painful for us to endure.” 1

But not to despair.  As we choose to closet ourselves with God, we invite the Holy Spirit to soften our heart, to reveal the rich truths of His word, and to disclose Jesus at increasingly deeper levels.  Slowly, over time, as the inner transformation of the heart and mind occurs, the Scriptures come alive, a deep sense of intimacy with Christ develops, and the ugly manifestations of a life controlled by our lower nature begins to dissipate (Rom. 12:2; Eph. 4:22-24; Col. 3:10; Tit. 3:5; Gal. 5:1v9-21).  To our joyful discovery, the fruit of the Spirit naturally finds expression through our lives, affecting those around us (Gal. 5:22, 23). 

Years ago I discipled a very angry and proud man whose heart had grown stone cold over the years. So I introduced him to the practice of spending regular time alone with God.  After a few attempts at it he told me, “Dwight, I don’t get it. Nothing is happening.” But with a little prompting, he kept after it, sincerely seeking Christ and endeavoring  to prayerfully apply the Scriptures to his life.  Today…years later, he is a marvelous reflection of the beauty of Jesus Christ.  (I Cor. 15:58; Phil.. 1:6)

This week, may you experience His grace, peace, and protection.

R. Dwight Hill

1 Henri J. M. Nouwen – “Devotional Classics” – Harper San Francisco – 1990, pp. 94, 95 -

THE “ONE THING”

December 14, 2011

"THE FACTS OF THE MATTER"

"A weekly letter of encouragement to business and professional men and women"

Good Morning!

THE “ONE THING”

Today a large segment in our society tends to define itself and its sense of worth by its busyness.  If you are engaged in some form of ministry you also run the risk of defining yourself not only by your ministry but by your being chronically “busy”. Both can easily become a form of idolatry and bondage.

The media and other powerful forces in our culture create an atmosphere of chronic emergency, false expectations and continual needs.  A recent “Time Magazine” article informs us that we have become “Crisis Junkies.” In the Christian arena certain forces, if left unchecked will eschew our priorities to the effect of putting us out of touch with God.  Oswald Saunders in his classic work “Spiritual Clinic” has a section on the over sensitive conscience that can easily be exploited by a false feeling of guilt, and an unrealistic standard of ministry performance.  This overly sensitive conscience can become unduly burdened with a sense of obligation to fix everyone and everything. Left unchecked, the pressure of these forces upon our lives can and will stifle the Spirit of God from freely flowing through us in order to renew and empower us in order to use us.  In time we can easily feel manipulated and exploited by people, and by forces outside our control.  Increasingly, we may experience a sense of resentment, a paralyzing feeling of disconnectedness, isolation, fragmentation, loneliness and anger.  Left unchecked, we will become depressed, lose heart and grow cynical.  And probably withdraw from a life of fruitful ministry.

What is the answer to the external pressures of the world and our own (often self-imposed) demands upon ourselves to overtake us?  Well, Jesus intends that we move from bowing to the many voices and demands of our age…and of our heart, to focusing on the “One Thing”:  Knowing Him.  (Phil. 3:7; Matt. 6:33; Lk. 10:41)  The sweet pursuit of knowing Him must possess us.  It must intoxicate us.  It must become our magnificent obsession.  At the center of truly knowing Him, of developing intimacy with Him is learning to listen to the voice of God in an atmosphere of unrushed solitude, only made possible by creating space in our lives from the noise and pressure of the world and ministry.  The fundamental nature of the ministry must be born out of the “One Thing”, rather than the “One Thing” being relegated to a supplementary place of relevance to our busyness and ministry.

In the Western world we tend to be highly cognitive, systematic, and rationalistic in our thinking and in our approach to spiritual formation/growth.  There is nothing intrinsically wrong with these patterns of thought.  But when they are out of balance in relationship to the contemplative life, they rob us from experiencing a deeper level of intimacy with Jesus.   It is important…No, it is imperative that we learn the delicate balance between the cognitive processes of the mind, and the sensitive response of the heart to the Spirit’s prompting.  I am suggesting to you that there is a Spirit guided intimacy… a mystical intimacy if you please, with Him that He desires for us, but we must put ourselves in a position where He can lead us into that experience with Him.   Information based as we are, we run the risk of gathering too much information/knowledge, and thereby choking out the Spirit and the quiet voice of God…Choking out the sweetness of His healing and loving touch that needs to reach us at our very core of our being.

When we approach the study and meditation of the Scriptures, we must invite the quiet voice of God to lead us. There are times, I have discovered when He gently impresses upon me to put the Book away…turn off the light, and be still before Him. (Psa. 46:10).  Perhaps just listen…and wait.  Or simply allow Him to love me.  Or engage my heart in worship. 

In summary, are we being released from the internal and external forces that would rob and restrict us from experiencing the free movement of the Spirit of God that will woo us into a deeper intimacy with Him?  I believe it is the Father’s heart to draw us toward new levels of relationship with Him.  Beyond anything we could to this point imagine?

^“But [now] I am fearful, lest that even as the serpent beguiled Eve by his cunning, so your minds may be corrupted and seduced from wholehearted and sincere and pure devotion to Christ.” (2 Cor. 11:3 –Amp.)

This week, may you experience His grace, peace, and protection.

R. Dwight Hill

Facts of the Matter © 2000 - 2011 R. Dwight Hill - www.factsofthematter.org - Unlimited permission to copy without altering text or profiteering is hereby granted subject to inclusion of this copyright notice.

MELLOWNESS OF HEART

Good Morning!

MELLOWNESS OF HEART

Have you ever been put on edge by being  around a duty-bound person on a mission for God who came across as highly driven, ridged, and  perhaps a bit on the angry side?  Of course they were very committed to their cause and intensely spiritual.  But to be honest, you would rather hug a porcupine.

The older brother in the parable of the prodigal son was scrupulously faithful for years in service to his father, but with a bitter heart.  The parable teaches us that we can be away from the Father not only through infidelity (the younger brother) but also through bitterness and anger (the older brother).  It is Jesus’ intention that we have the compassion of the Father that emanates from a grateful heart. 1 In the Old Testament God indicts the Israelites because they “did not serve the Lord [their] God joyfully and gladly” (Deu. 28:47).

Gustavo Gutierrez has suggested that to be healthy spiritually we must feed our souls through prayer, the practice of justice, and through having those things in our lives (good friends, good wine, creativity, and healthful leisure) that keep the soul mellow and grateful. 2 Wise old Solomon reminds us that “the cheerful heart has a continual feast…A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too…is from the hand of God” (Pro.15:15b; Ecc. 2:24).

Yes, you and I are keenly aware that our task is to reach out to our hurting world with the Master’s love.  But we will fail in our mission if it is accomplished out of an anxious, angry, guilt-ridden, or duty-bound heart.  Only the grateful of heart transform the world.  When the Ark of the Covenant was placed in King Solomon’s  newly built temple, mellow hearts burst forth in joyful praise-filled celebration. “The trumpeters and singers joined in unison, as with one voice to give praise and thanks to the Lord. Accompanied by trumpets, cymbals and other instruments, they raised their voices in praise to the Lord and sang: ‘He is good; his love endures forever…’” (2 Chro. 5:13a).

As a college student I was profoundly influenced by the biography of an Englishman whom God greatly used in Asia in the 1800’s. His commitment and sacrifice knew no bounds. Years later I learned that over the years however, he had become so insufferably mission-driven that his fellow-missionaries found it nearly impossible to co-labor with him. Tragically he had become a bitter old man on a mission.

By way of contrast, Jesus easily co-mingled with common folks like you and me.  The masses loved to be around Him, viewing Him as kind, approachable, and deeply compassionate. No wonder children naturally gathered around Him.  To be sure He was on His Father’s all-important mission, but He approached it with an air of grace and calm. Clear evidence that Jesus indeed possessed a mellow heart.

QUESTION:  So how are you doing in the mellow heart department?  Are you angry? Over-taxed? Resentful?  Bone dry at the core? How would your kids, your spouse, and your co-workers answer those questions of you?  Is a renovation of the soul long overdue?   

This week, may you experience His grace, peace, and protection.

R. Dwight Hill

1 – Credit Roland Rolheiser with this key idea; “The Holy Longing” – Doubleday, 1999, pg. 67;  2  Gustavo Gutierrez,  “We Drink from Our Own Wells” - Maryknoll, N. Y., Orbis, 1984.

Facts of the Matter © 2000 - 2011 R. Dwight Hill - www.factsofthematter.org - Unlimited permission to copy without altering text or profiteering is hereby granted subject to inclusion of this copyright notice.