Five components of a healthy marriage

By Rick Warren

Years ago I read this letter written to Dear Abby:

“Do all marriages go stale after 25 years? Ours has. My husband and I don’t seem to have much to talk about any more. We used to talk about our kids. But now they’re grown and gone, and we really don’t have anything to converse about. I have no major complaints with my husband. But the old excitement is gone. We watch a lot of television. And we read. And we have friends. But when we’re alone together, it’s pretty dull. We even sleep in separate bedrooms now. Is there someway to recapture the old magic?”
– The Song has Ended

How incredibly sad! Too many marriages in our churches are struggling because the romance has died. Looking around, there is a disturbing trend that plays itself out in most troubled marriages. They go from fiery romance to reality to rut to resentment to regret. Before long, divorce comes.

Pastor, the marriages in our churches – including our own – are either growing together or drifting apart. There’s no middle ground. Your church has a unique opportunity to encourage healthy, growing marriages. How do flat marriages rekindle their romance? The same way Jesus tells us to rekindle our love for him in Revelation 2:4-5. Jesus says, “You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen? Repent and do the things you did at first.”

First, you remember the good times. You do again what you did when you first fell in love. Then, you repent or deliberately change how you treat your spouse. But what are those actions that you “did at first”? Married people did five things when they first fell in love. And they’ll need to do it again if they are going to recapture that romance: attention, affirmation, affection, adventure, and accordance (spiritual oneness) they had when they first fell in love.


1. Attention: The very first sign that you were falling in love was that you noticed that someone was paying attention to you – and you started to pay attention to that someone. Do you remember how much attention you paid your mate before you were married? You wrote notes. You made phone calls. You spent hours talking together. You sent cards. You bought flowers. You brought gifts. You said over and over again, “You have my total and undivided attention.”

What happened after you got married? Instead of saying, “I'll get that for you,” we started saying, “Get it yourself!” We became complacent in our relationship and took one another for granted. But if you’re going to rekindle the romance, you’ve got to make time for each other and pay attention to each other. If you don’t, you’re headed for trouble.


2. Affirmation: The quickest way to put spark back into your marriage is to start focusing on your spouse’s strengths instead of their weaknesses. Paul reminds us in 1 Thessalonians 5:11, “Give encouragement to each other. Keep strengthening each other.” Everybody wants to be admired, appreciated, and looked up to. We fall in love with people who admire us.

You’ve probably heard this before, but it’s so true. “Treat your husband like a king and he will treat you like a queen.” Very simple yet profound. We tend to become what others expect of us.

Verbalize your love for your spouse every day. If you will verbalize your love, you will begin to feel that love you once had.


3. Affection: Remember how affectionate you and your spouse were during your courting days? In fact, you can always tell who the unmarried couples are. They can’t keep their hands off each other. Unfortunately, after the wedding, the touching and tenderness stop in so many marriages. All marriages need large amounts of hugging, kissing, caressing, and other forms of non-sexual touch.

Ephesians 5:19 (Amplified) says, “Husbands ... be affectionate!” It is a command. Husbands, if you’re not doing this, you’re sinning. Some say, “I'm just not naturally affectionate.” So what? Change! It’s not in your genes. You learned the behavior from your background. You can learn to be affectionate.


4. Adventure: Most marriages are dull. Ecclesiastes 9:9 says, “Enjoy life with your wife.” I’ve read that the number one cause of affairs is boredom. Are you fun to live with? You had adventure when you were romancing your spouse. But you’ve probably lost that sense of adventure. Everything is predictable. Predictability kills a marriage.

Unfortunately, most of us define fun as what you do after you’ve got all your work finished. But you never get all your work finished! The work is never done. Even after you retire, you still have got work to do. As a result, you don’t have any fun in your marriage – and you wonder why the feelings have died.

You need at least one date a week. It doesn’t have to be expensive, and it doesn’t have to be at night. (Kay and I have done them on Monday mornings.) But regardless, do something you like to do together. And do it without the kids. Schedule it – every week – so you can’t back out when your schedule gets tight.


5. Accordance (spiritual oneness): The key to fellowship with your mate is for both of you to live in God’s presence. When you and your wife are both committed to Christ and what he’s doing in the world, you’ll be naturally drawn together. Spiritual unity enhances romance. I ended up proposing to Kay while we were praying together. I felt so close to her – our hearts were knit together – that I figured we might as well join our lives together. Prayer joins you together. And then there is the natural desire to show physical affection, physical oneness, when you are spiritually one.

God wants you to have oneness. Romance was God’s idea. The Bible says two shall become one – intellectually, emotionally, physically, recreationally, and spiritually. When you are only having oneness in three of those areas, your marriage isn’t fully what God wants it to be. But when you and your spouse connect in all five areas, that’s when you find real, honest oneness.

Do you and your spouse pray together? Do you do ministry together? Do you share what God is doing in your life with your spouse, and visa-versa? Make those things a part of your time together, and romance will return.

Copyright © 2009 Rick Warren

Growing strong through Our Excellence for His Glory

Philippians 1:12-21
Eld (Dr) Chuah Seong Peng

Introduction: Our Excellence for His Glory

HLCE commitment to excellence (Philippians 4:4, 8-9)

We believe that excellence honours God and inspires people. Our God who is a God of excellence gave his best – his one and only Son for us (Romans 8:32).
Therefore, we are committed to pursue excellence in all that we do to glorify him.

What does it mean to reveal God’s glory through our excellence?

Glory

Glory in Hebrew is ‘kabod’. It gives an idea of heaviness, weightiness, worthiness.

Glory of God refers to revelation of God in his nature, character and presence.
God’s glorious Presence was felt by the people at the foot of Mt. Sinai in Exodus 19:17-19. God reveals his glory through the expression of his character to Moses in Exodus 34:6.

In the NT, Jesus Christ is the outshining example of his divine glory
Hebrew 1:3 “The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful words. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the majesty in heaven.”
God’s glory is revealed most fully in the person and work of Jesus Christ.

Today His people are called to reveal his glory to the world

2 Corinthians 4:6
For God who said, “let light shines out of darkness,” made his light shines in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.
The glory of God in the face of Christ is to be seen and reflected in the church today. It is to be seen in the words and deeds of the disciples (Matthew 5:17).

Excellence

Excellence is often equated with doing the best, producing the best results. There is a danger of doing excellence that is result-orientated (Kiasuism) and doing excellence for excellence sake that can be a form of idol worship. So what does it mean to give our excellence for God’s glory?

Our Excellence for His Glory - An Example from Paul

Philippians 1:12-21 Paul’s Chains Advance the Gospel
12 Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel. 13 As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. 14 Because of my chains, most of the brothers in the Lord have been encouraged to speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly.
15 It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. 16 The latter do so in love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. 17 The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. 18 But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.
Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, 19 for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. 20 I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. 21 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

The church in Philippi Acts 16:6-39
In Philippi, Lydia was converted, Paul and Silas were throne into jail because Paul delivered the slave girl who was possessed by a spirit and caused the owner to lose his fortune telling trade. As a result, the jailer and his household were saved.
Paul’s yardstick for excellence that glorifies God is when the Gospel is advanced.
As long as the Gospel is advanced, God is glorified! It is not about how well he is doing.
“Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel.”
‘what has happened to me’

Acts 21:17-28:31
Paul was arrested in Jerusalem temple because the Jews were upset he brought in the Gentiles and desecrated the temple; the Romans thought he was the Egyptian outlaw on their most wanted list who started a revolt and led four thousand terrorists out into the desert. He was remanded in prison for two years under Governor Felix in Caesarea because Felix was playing favor to the Jews. After Felix was succeeded by Festus, the chief priest and the Jews leaders again appealed for him to be transferred to Jerusalem to face charges in their attempt to kill him. Paul managed to appeal to be transferred to Rome to face Caesar. On the way the ship was wrecked and they were stranded in Malta for three months before they were able to go to Rome. In Rome Paul was put under house arrest.

‘Advanced’ = furtherance

Means being a pioneer in advancing the work of God. It is a Greek military term referring to the army engineers who go before the troop to open the way into new territory.
As far as Paul is concerned, his primary motive in whatever he does in life is to do it excellently to advance the Gospel and bring glory to God.

The Gospel refers to the good news
The coming of His kingdom as Jesus proclaimed in:
Mark 1:15 “The kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news!”

Luke 4:18-19
“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor… to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

The Gospel refers to the coming of the kingdom in every aspect of our lives to do what we are called to show his love to everyone. It is not merely the sharing of the words of salvation or getting people converted to Christ. It is not only about personal salvation, it is also about ‘proclaiming freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor’. It is bringing in the reign of God into our lives to glorify Him.

Paul gave his excellence for God’s glory in ALL situations

* In chain.
* Facing critics.
* Going through crisis of life and death.

Paul gave his excellence in chained

13 As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. 14 Because of my chains, most of the brothers in the Lord have been encouraged to speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly.

Paul wanted to go to Rome as a preacher of the gospel; instead, he was in Rome as a prisoner. Nevertheless, the prison cannot stop Paul from giving his excellence for His glory! As a result of his imprisonment, the gospel was shared to the prison guards and those around. The brothers in the Lord also were encouraged to be bold to share the gospel.

Paul gave his excellence when faced with his critic
15 It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. 16 The latter do so in love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. 17 The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. 18 But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.
Paul has his vision set on things above. He did not allow personal feeling or issues to cloud his vision of the glory of the Lord. He is totally committed to advance the Gospel to give his excellence for God’s glory.

Paul gave his excellence for God when going through crisis of life and death
“I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.”
Paul did not know how his trial was going to turn out. He has no idea if he would be released when he wrote this letter. Yet he was all ready to commit himself totally to the Lord and his cause. He was even ready to die for what he has called to do as long as Christ’s name is exalted.

For many, Paul’s troubles may look like failure; but for Paul these were opportunities to be excellence for his glory because the gospel was advanced! He was a pioneer of the Gospel in all situations.

The secret of Paul

The power of prayer and the Holy Spirit
Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, 19 for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance.
Paul can continue to rejoice in all circumstances and give his excellence for his glory because he was sure of the help from prayer of the saints and the power of the Holy Spirit at work to ensure his salvation to the end.

Single-mindedness for God’s glory
“For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.”
For Paul, it’s all about God and not himself! Paul has the single-mindedness of doing his best to bring glory to God. It’s all about God’s glory and reputation and not himself! His eyes are on God and not himself. His heart is for God and God only.

What can we learn?
The excellence that could give God the glory to advance the Gospel is:
Not our best effort or our greatest achievement, but our best state, the best that we could be.
Our best effort and success can only draw credit to ourselves, but not glory to God.
It is when we realize that we are living in His strength, and we cannot help but say, “The Lord is good! Glory be to Him!” It has to be a situation when everyone must recognize that this is clearly the hand of God working in and through us.

Our best state is not what we could be in ourselves, but one where we have given ourselves completely to Him and put our trust in Him-
It is when everyone around us recognizes the grace and the power of God at work in us, enabling us to act and respond in a way that truly reflects His divine character and power. And they cannot help but exclaimed, “Hallelujah! Glory be to God!”

It is when we can truthfully say, “It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.”
It is when we proclaim with Paul, “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain!” and “In Christ alone, I place my trust.”
Some pioneers of faith who gives their hearts completely to God
Margaret Brand, a pioneer of Christian faith, who lived a balance career, family and faith, gave her excellence for the glory of God.

* Self-trained world expert on Leprosy on eye.
* With the late Dr. Paul Brand (d. 2003), raised a family of six children in India.
* Christian Medical College in Vellore, S. India, for approximately 18 years.
* 22 years as Chief of Ophthalmology at Gillis W. Long National Hansen’s Disease Center.
* Dr. Margaret, now 85, is officially retired, but maintains a busy schedule, speaking and traveling around the world.

According to Margaret Brand, a pioneer of Christian faith,
“It is the grace of God, which is available to everyone, that has enabled me to accomplish what I have done, and His grace that has overruled many of my foolish mistakes.”
“Our disappointments are God’s appointment for us!”

It is in such situations that we can give our excellence to for his glory when we respond to his call to advance the gospel and be a pioneer of the Christian faith.

‘Chained’ by circumstances – Susannah, Mrs. Charles Haddon Spurgeon

“Book Fund”
Early in their married life, Susannah became an invalid but her burden to share in her husband’s ministry took her to start the “Book Fund”, a work of faith that supported thousands of pastors who were too poor to buy books. She began only by sharing with them her husband’s book and God took her burden and developed it into a great ministry even though she was home bound for 15 years.
When Susannah became chronically ill and was often confined to bed, discouraged and confused, Susannah cried out to God. Later, she would write, ” . . . the moment we come into any trial or difficulty, our first thought should be, not how soon can we escape from it, or how we may lessen the pain we shall suffer from it, but how can we best glorify God in it . . .”

But how could Susannah glorify God or minister with her husband while confined to a sick room?

In the summer of 1875, Charles completed the first volume of his book, Lectures to My Students. He gave a proof copy to Susannah and asked her opinion of it. After reading it, she said, “I wish I could place it in the hands of every minister in England.” Charles quipped, “Then why not do so; how much will you give?”3

Susannah took the challenge seriously. She had, on a whim, been saving crown pieces as she happened to get them. When she counted them out, there were exactly enough coins to buy 100 copies of the new book. Charles announced in his magazine that 100 copies of Lectures to my Students would be mailed to poor pastors at no charge. Orders flooded in for the books from English ministers, many of whom were so strapped for money that they hadn’t bought a new book in years. Susannah mailed out the books and received dozens of grateful letters in thanks. Some pastors wept when the precious volumes arrived. Spurgeon announced the results in the next issue of his magazine and asked his readers to help continue the work. Donations poured in. Though they never again asked for funds, enough money continued to trickle in over the years to distribute hundreds of thousands of theological books.
Susannah often worked from her sick bed, keeping track of the finances and corresponding with pastors. A room in their home was dedicated to storing and shipping books. As long as Susannah was well enough, volunteers would come in once every two weeks to help pack books for shipping.

Charles later wrote about the effect the labor involved in the book fund had on his wife. “Our gracious Lord has ministered to His suffering child in the most effectual manner when He graciously led her to minister to the necessities of His servants. . . . Let every believer accept this as the inference of experience: that for most human maladies, the best relief and antidote will be found in the self-sacrificing work for the Lord Jesus.”

She was a splendid manageress and a supporter of Spurgeon’s Pastors’ College

By means of rigid economies, quite a substantial amount was saved towards the support and education of the first student, the success of this effort leading to the foundation of the Pastors´ College. “I rejoice,” says Mrs. Spurgeon, ‘“to remember how I shared my beloved´s joy when he founded the Institution, and that together we planned and pinched in order to carry out the purpose of his loving heart; it gave me quite a motherly interest in the College, and ‘our own men.´
Do we feel ‘in chain’ to someone that pull us down or prevent us from serving him?

Susanna Wesley could be ‘in chain’ by her 19 children, but she was not!
She drew her inner strength from her belief in God. With single mind, she sees her difficult situations as God-given opportunities for furtherance of the Gospel. She shared,
"Help me, Lord, to remember that religion is not to be confined to the church... nor exercised only in prayer and meditation, but that every where I am in Thy Presence."

"I am content to fill a little space if God be glorified."
“My excellence for His glory” is a choice

Our unstoppable determination for His holiness! It involves a choice!

Oswald Chambers in My Utmost for His Highest shared,

“To reach that level of determination is a matter of the will, not of debate or of reasoning. It is absolute and irrevocable surrender of the will at that point. An undue amount of thought and consideration for ourselves is what keeps us from making decision, although we cover it up with the pretense that it is others we are considering.”
“When we think seriously about what it will cost others if we obey the call of Jesus, we tell God he doesn’t know what our obedience will mean. Keep to the point – He does know.”

What should our responses be?
“Shut out every other thought that keep yourself before God for this one thing only – my utmost for his highest. I am determined to be absolutely and entirely for Him and Him alone.”

How does God prepare and grow us to that state?

Experiencing God!
Blackaby shared about the steps God grows us through experiencing him in our love relationship with Him. Oswald Chambers shared something similar in this light when he said,
“But before we choose to follow God’s will, a crisis must develop in our lives. This happens because we tend to be unresponsive to God’s gentle nudges.”

It is a process of growth
We need to go through the process of growth in our experience with God. To look at the process that God lovingly and graciously subject us to, to bring to fruition the end product that He so desires to see in us, come to…HLCE Camp 2009
The theme: Our Excellence for His Glory

1. Experiencing His Comfort in our Trials (1:3-11).
2. Experiencing His Victory in our Setbacks (2:1-17).
3. Experiencing His Power in our Frailty (3:12-4:18).
4. Experiencing His Eternity in our Mortality (5:1-21).

We will be taken through the process of how Paul experience God’s grace that worked powerfully in him and help to strengthen and build him up to do excellently to glorify God in his life.
Let us go to the camp and learn to give Our Excellence for His Glory!
To God be all praise and glory! Amen.

_______________________________________________________________

HLCE Audio Sermons Online are on the web
at http://www.hlce.org.my
©HLCE 2000-2006

Title: Faith and Dying

Date: Jun 26, 2009
Topic(s): Faith/Trust
Scripture: John 16:33, John 14:27, John 11:25-27

Is the name Jean-Francois Gravelet familiar to you? Better known as The Great Blondin, he was the first man to cross Niagara Falls on a tightrope, an event he repeated many times. The story is told that once he pushed a wheelbarrow across the Falls and then returned with the wheelbarrow loaded with a 100-lb sack of flour. He subsequently asked the crowd if they thought he could push a man across.

When they shouted, "yes," he asked for a volunteer. Silence.

Faith is more than just assent. When you face death, you do not want to guess, hope or speculate. You want to know. And that's where Jesus comes in.

What Does God Say?

"Jesus told her, 'I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never ever die. Do you believe this, Martha?" (John 11:25-26, NLT).

Martha's brother had just died. Jesus was asking Martha if she believed that He could raise her brother from the dead.

* Why would Jesus ask Martha that question?
* How do you think Martha responded?

"Yes, Lord," she told Him, 'I have always believed you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one who has come into the world from God'" (John 11:27, NIV).
My Thoughts

Do you think that Jesus was teaching not only Martha but also us through His question?

Did Martha really believe in her heart that Jesus could and would raise her brother from the dead?

What about you? When it comes to death and dying, where is your faith? Notice that Jesus does not say that everyone has the hope of never perishing, but only those who believe in Him--those who have taken Jesus to be their Savior, taken God to be their Heavenly Father and have taken the Holy Spirit to be their guide. To those people, Jesus promises eternal life and declares that death is only a brief doorway to resurrection and the beginning of eternity with Him.

My Part

Watching someone cross Niagara Falls on a tightrope would be scary. Riding in a wheelbarrow while someone pushed it over a tightrope strung across the Falls would be terrifying. But facing death and having no assurance would be even more dreadful. In fact, dreadful beyond words. That's why the truth Jesus teaches here is so significant and can affect our lives for eternity.

"Jesus told her, 'I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never ever die. Do you believe this, Martha?'"? (John 11:25-26, NLT).

Do you believe? Do you trust Jesus with all your heart; do you have the assurance that He will keep His Word? Then you can face death and dying knowing that you will live eternally with your Savior.
"I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world" (John 16:33, NLT). "I am leaving you with a gift--peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid" (John 14:27, NLT).

Take a moment to thank Jesus that you can have such an assurance.

Precious Gift

Once upon a time, when God had finished making the world, he wanted to leave behind a piece of His own divinity, a spark of His essence, a promise to man of what he could become, with effort. He looked for a place to hide this precious gift because, He explained, what man could find too easily would never be valued by him.
"Then you must hide this gift on the highest mountain peak on earth," said one of his counselors.
God shook His head, "No, for man is an adventuresome creature and he will soon enough learn to climb the highest mountain peaks.

"Hide it then, O Great One, in the depths of the earth."
"I think not," said God. "for man will one day discover that he can dig into the deepest parts of the earth."
"In the middle of the ocean then, Master?"
God shook His head. "I've given man a brain, you see, and one day he'll learn to build ships and cross the mightiest oceans."
"Where then, Master?" cried His counselors.
God smiled, "I'll hide it where every man and woman will be able to find it if they look sincerely and deeply enough. I'll hide it in their heart."

BLESSED ARE THE MEEK…

“BLESSED ARE THE MEEK…” (Matt. 5:5a)

In the marketplace of power and control, the very thought of meekness comes off as insipid and ineffectual. After all, it is the assertive types, not the docile, compliant, and timid that make things happen in the commercial center of ideas, action and leadership!

Well guess what? Jim Collins in his monumental work, Good to Great discovered in his research that the best CEOs – what he calls “Level 5 leaders” – combine extreme passion for a cause with deep humility and a sense of teamwork. Without humility a man cannot learn, because the first step to learning is the realization of our own ignorance. Perhaps a paraphrase of “Blessed are the meek…” (Matt. 5:5a) could be, “Blessed is the man who has the humility to know his own ignorance, his own weakness, and his own need.”1 The biblical concept of meekness does not connote weakness. It is power put under control. Powerful King Solomon reminded us that a person without meekness is “like a city that is broken into and without walls” (Pro. 25:28). “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, then he who captures a city” (Pro. 16:32 ). An unbroken colt is of little use. Wind and people out of control prove to be destructive. Meekness appropriately measures out its resources.

It would serve us well to keep in mind that poverty of spirit (Matt. 5:3 of last week’s “Facts”) focuses on our sinfulness, while meekness (Matt. 5:5) focuses on God’s holiness, and that the basic attitude of humility underlies both virtues.

Frank and Sarah come to mind when I think of meekness. Frank has a PhD from one of our blue chip universities and masterfully leads a mid-sized company of excellence. I first got to know Frank many years ago when he helped me put up a basketball hoop for my 9 year old son, the day our family moved to town. He was hungry for discipleship. Sarah, now in her late 80’s, has for many years been the quintessential business leader in her city, and continues to quietly influence leaders to practice excellence, ethics and good governance. Years ago I remember discovering Sarah on her knees at her church, cleaning toilets that she observed had been overlooked, in preparation for a one day conference. Both Frank and Sarah reflect their deep inner core of biblical values as they speak with passion and conviction in measured tones. Both, by their powerful, “meek” presence command monumental respect and influence in their community.

Biblical examples of powerful leaders embracing the quality of meekness would include:

Christ who twice drove out the money changers (Jn. 2:14, 15; Matt. 21:12 , 13), yet meekly sacrificed himself for others, serves as an example for us to follow: “...Christ, who suffered for you, is your example. Follow in his steps…He did not retaliate when he was insulted. When he suffered, he did not threaten to get even. He left his case in the hands of God” (I Pet. 2:21a, 23). This gentle Jesus, the One who spoke the worlds into being, humbly rode a donkey into Jerusalem as the coming King (Matt. 21:5).

Moses who in righteous anger smashed the tablets upon learning of the golden calf, was “… more humble than any other person on earth” (Num. 12:3; Exo. 32:19).

David who had the opportunity to kill Saul but refused stating, "The Lord forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the Lord's anointed, or lift my hand against him; for he is the anointed of the Lord" (I Sam. 24: 5, 6).

QUESTION: What answer would I receive if I were to ask those closest to you if you are perceived as kindly, patient, moderate, humble, and measured? What would they have to say about being pushy, manipulative, easily irritated, in a hurry, wound tight, arbitrary, harsh, proud or supercilious? The reason we need to ask these difficult questions lies in the gravity of Jesus’ statement: “Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 18:3b, 4).

1 Barclay’s Daily Study Bible (NT)

R. Dwight Hill

Our Legacy

June 21, 2009
Our Legacy
Children are a heritage from the Lord. —Psalm 127:3

A friend of mine wrote recently, “If we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family left behind would feel the loss for the rest of their lives. Why then do we invest so much in our work and so little in our children’s lives?”

Why do we sometimes exhaust ourselves rising up early and going late to rest, “eating the bread of anxious toil” (Ps. 127:1-2 esv), busying ourselves to make our mark on this world, and overlooking the one investment that matters beyond everything else—our children?

Solomon declared, “Children are a heritage from the Lord”—an invaluable legacy He has bequeathed us. “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth” (v.4) is his striking simile. Nothing is more worthy of our energy and time.

There is no need for “anxious toil,” working night and day, the wise man Solomon proclaimed, for the Lord does take care of us (Ps. 127:2). We can make time for our children and trust that the Lord will provide for all of our physical needs. Children, whether our own or those we disciple, are our lasting legacy—an investment we’ll never regret. — David H. Roper

Our children are a heritage,
A blessing from the Lord;
They bring a richness to our lives—
In each, a treasure stored. —Fasick

Time spent with your children is time wisely invested.

God of Questions

I don't always understand God. Thankfully, he always understands me.
Dawn Zemke
Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Sometimes I revel in the mysteries of God. That he's always existed and always will exist. That he's Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, three yet one. That he created our amazing planet—oceans, mountains, deserts, and the incredible variety of wildlife, not to mention people—from nothing. How do I possibly wrap my brain around that? The indefinable, enigmatic part of God's nature sends a shiver down my spine and reminds me how truly big he is—and how blessed I am that he not only cares for me, but knows me intimately (Psalm 139).

Sometimes, however, that mystifying, inexplicable side of God drives me crazy. Because all too often, I just don't understand why he allows the things he does. Why do wonderful, loving couples remain childless while others conceive, and throw away, babies seemingly on a whim? Why does a man who never touched a cigarette die of lung cancer while a two-pack-a-day smoker lives to a ripe old age? And why must a faithful, godly woman such as my mother bear the death of both her husband and an infant daughter while others remain untouched by such tragedy?

I know, I know—we're living in a fallen world experiencing the consequences of its sin. I recognize that God is always in control, even when it feels as if he's missing from the equation. And I believe his promise that his plans are "to prosper [me] and not to harm [me], plans to give [me] hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11).

That doesn't mean I have to like it. And it definitely doesn't mean I don't experience moments of doubt, when I cry out, "Why, Lord? How could you? What were you thinking?"

I used to feel guilty about such thoughts. After all, God is … God. His ways are supposed to be beyond my comprehension, right? It's my job as his child to have unwavering faith in him. To believe without question.

Or maybe not.
In chapter 11 of his Gospel, John tells the story of Jesus raising his friend Lazarus from the dead. For years I was so caught up in the miracle—I mean, Jesus brought the man back from death—that I never noticed the drama behind the scenes.
John tells us that Jesus loved Lazarus and his two sisters, Mary and Martha. Yet when he received word that Lazarus was sick, he didn't race to be by his side. In fact, he waited two whole days before hitting the road. By the time he reached Lazarus's hometown, the man had been dead four days.
Now here's where I find the story gets interesting. When the news came that Jesus was near, Martha went to meet him. But not Mary. This woman who dearly loved Jesus, who bought expensive perfume to pour on his feet and dried them with her hair, stayed home. Jesus had to ask for Mary. And though she immediately responded to his call, the first words out of her mouth tell me a lot about her state of mind: "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died" (John 11:32). Or in other words, "How could you take so long to get here, Jesus? What were you thinking?"

I so relate to Mary here because I'd be asking the same question. How terrible it must have been for her, watching her brother get sicker and sicker, finally dying, and Jesus never came. Talk about feeling let down!

What I really love about this story, though, is Jesus' reaction. He's deeply moved by her grief. And he gets right down to the business at hand—raising Lazarus. What he doesn't do is scold her for questioning his actions.

And that gives my doubting, questioning heart comfort. Just as Jesus understood Mary's question, I believe he understands all of mine. After all, he created me and he knows me—as Psalm 139 says, he "perceives my thoughts from afar."
I've come more and more to believe that while God wants my obedience, he doesn't require that I give it without thought. Like any good parent, he patiently listens to my questions and does his best to answer them. And like any child, I'm not always going to have the ability to understand those answers.

But looking at the Bible, I'm in good company. Moses gave God a real run for his money before agreeing to head back to Egypt. Jonah not only questioned God's plan, he ran from it. And even Jesus, perfectly committed to his Father's will, double-checked to be sure there wasn't some other way of accomplishing his task.

Someday I'll trade this finite body for the infinite, and with it I'll gain complete understanding of God's perfect plan. But until that day comes, it's good to know God's patience won't run out. That he not only understands and accepts all my questions—he loves me in spite of them.

This article first appeared on Today's Christian Woman'sblog post. Dawn Zemke is an associate editor with Today's Christian Woman.